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Originals:
Summer of Cinema - May 2005
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Entertainmentopia
respects the personal opinions of our writers and fully embraces the
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content and are the author's personal feelings and in no way do they
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Welcome to the Summer of Cinema 2005
Entertainmentopia’s definitive summer movie season preview.
Three years ago we started this feature with the hopes of giving
people a preview of the movies coming out this summer. As the “summer
movie season” seems to start earlier and earlier every year we
continue to bulk up our coverage. In 2002, the first year of this
feature, we featured 10 movies, this year we’re planning on nearly
40, so as the season progresses; you needn’t look any further for
information.
This year we’re breaking things down a bit differently. In
previous incarnations the editors had split the summer in two halves and
picked roughly eight films per half. This year, due to the drastic
increase in coverage, Entertainmentopia is breaking down the
summer by months (i.e. April, May, June, etc.). The plan is to launch
the upcoming month’s previews the last week in the preceding month.
For those new to Entertainmentopia, or those with a
short memory, here’s how it works. Each movie will be broken down into
three sections:
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Cool – What aspects of the movie
look awesome so far, and what are the main drawing points for
getting us to drop our money and put our butts in a seat.
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Suck – The aspects that are less
than intriguing, in fact, they may be the very downfall of the film.
This could stem from a director’s previous work, actor’s previous
films, or a general disregard for good movie making.
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Projected Rating – Based on all
the available information, what do we think the movie will get based
on Entertainmentopia’s rating system? Mind you this is based purely
on written facts and not any preview material.
NOTE:
Please be aware that all information in this article is based on
personal opinion of the characters, actors, directors, and studios.
Nothing should be taken to heart as our final opinion on the movie; this
is merely a way to gauge our feelings on the film before it is released.
At the end of the summer season look for a reflection of all the movies
previewed and how our final grades compared to our projected ratings.
May 2005

| Kicking and
Screaming |
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Release Date: May 13,
2005 |
| Studio: Universal
Pictures (NBC Universal) |
| Director: Jesse Dylan |
| Producers: Jimmy Miller,
Charles Roven |
| Starring: Will Ferrell,
Robert Duvall, Kate Walsh, Mike Ditka, Musetta Vander |
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Cool: There’s no denying that Will Farrell is a funny guy. From his
time on Saturday Night Live to early movies like
A Night at the Roxbury and Zoolander,
the guy is funny in nearly every role he’s in. Who really
knows if the “Cowbell” skit would have been as funny had
Horatio Sanz or Jimmy Fallon been the one knocking away on
it rather than Farrell? If anyone can pull out a cliché
looking movie like this (see below), it's Farrell. |
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Suck: Kicking and Screaming is just one of the film’s
Will Farrell is in this summer (with the culmination being
Bewitched in July) and it looks like the
weakest one. For starters the movie come across as a
hodgepodge of a feel good kids movie coupled with the cliché
storylines of “father who learns about himself” and “sports
aren’t everything, but the team of losers finally wins.”
We’ve seen these types of movies all over the place and,
frankly, its time for Hollywood to stop. We really want to
see a Will Farrell like we did in Old School,
one who gets away with anything and becomes one of the most
quoted characters in movie history (“I’ll do one!”). I think
we’d be better off putting this one off and waiting for
something much better with a sharper edge to it. |
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| Projected
Rating: C- |
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| Unleashed |
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|
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Release Date:
May 13, 2005 |
| Studio:
Rogue Pictures (Focus Features) |
| Director: Louis
Leterrier |
| Producers:
Luc Besson, Steve Chasman, Pierre-Ange Le Pogam |
| Starring:
Jet Li, Morgan Freeman, Bob Hoskins, Kerry Condon, Andy
Beckwith |
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|
Cool: Jet Li kicking serious ass. What else can you say about a
film where the martial artist lays the smack down in the
persona of a man, treated like a dog, and trained to kill?
Jet Li has some serious skills, and while he lacks the
comedic quality of Jackie Chan, the Romeo Must Die
star has the skills. Unleashed looks
“interesting,” especially the premise of Li being a
“human-dog” trained to kill by his owner, only to be thrown
into the real world where he must forget about this past.
While the plot seems vaguely familiar for nearly
half-a-dozen other films boasting the same storyline, the
star power associated with this one could lead it to the
winner’s circle, but it definitely won’t beat out a Will
Farrell vehicle. |
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Suck: This movie has been waiting around for a while. I remember
seeing trailers and reading articles about it years ago
which leads me to believe there’s been some serious
reworking over that time. The film doesn’t come to the
theaters light in the star department with both Morgan
Freeman and Li capable of supporting it themselves but the
smell of stagnation and the aura of Guy
Ritchie-copycat-film-school reek from the trailers and
promotional material. It remains to be seen just how much of
the original script is left intact, or if it was any good in
the first place, but we’ll see this month. |
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| Projected
Rating: C |
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| Star Wars:
Episode III: Revenge of the Sith |
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|
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Release Date: May 19,
2005 |
| Studio: 20th Century FOX (News Corp.)/Lucasfilm,
Ltd. |
| Director: George Lucas |
| Producers: Rick McCallum |
| Starring: Ewan McGregor,
Hayden Christensen, Natalie Portman, Ian McDiarmid, Samuel
L. Jackson
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Cool: Having not seen Episode I and Episode II
until a few months ago I prepared for the worst based on the
buzz created by the two over the last six years.
Episode I had its moments, but was mostly and
underwhelming launch pad for Episode II and
Episode III. Early pre-release buzz pegs
Revenge of teh Sith as a film finally living up to
that of the original trilogy and the darker tone (as shown
in the trailers and press material) will have the fan-boys
grabbing for handfuls of tissues as Darth Vader returns to
the big screen for the first time since the Special
Editions. There’s quite a bit to look forward to, even for
causal fans of the series. The bridging of the gab between
Episodes III and A New Hope will
be interesting to see and the ability to finally link the
two trilogies will undoubtedly satisfy many fantasies. If
anything the movie will finally provide some conclusions for
people who bleed Star Wars. Regardless of my
personal opinions about the series and its status against
Star Trek, everyone will see this one eventually
with Lucas making tons of money on the deal. |
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Suck: I have to play Devil’s Advocate here people, and no, it’s
not a pinball game. The last two movies have plain sucked
when compared to the original trilogy. I’d take the
craptacular Ewoks over the wooden acting of Hayden
Christensen
and his total lack of chemistry with Natalie
Portman. There just isn’t a whole lot to like about
Episodes I and II besides their
setting up of the events for Episode III. I’m
sure the droves of emails I’m going to receive based purely
on those last few sentences will solidify my point that
Star Wars fanatics really do have to get a life.
I’m a die hard Trekker, but sometimes fans from both series
over do it and we’re left in an awkward situation not unlike
a recent Robot Chicken sketch. However, that is
beside the point, as Episode III is posed to
culminate the limp trilogy with a powerful climax. I’m just
hoping it doesn’t blow it early and limp to the finish line
with endless crying and retrospective on the characters. We
know who dies, we know who lives, and we know who is born.
Shock and awe us George, don’t make us reach for the
Kleenex. |
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| Projected
Rating: B |
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| The Longest Yard
(2005) |
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|
 |
Release Date:
May 27, 2005 |
| Studio:
Paramount Pictures (Viacom) |
| Director:
Peter Segal |
| Producers:
Adam Sandler, Jack Giarruputo, Jack Giarraputo |
| Starring:
Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Burt Reynolds, William Fichtner,
James Cromwell |
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|
Cool: Adam Sandler and Chris Rock…together…in a movie remake of a
film that originally starred Burt Reynolds…and stars him
again? Sign me up for that. Or so it would seem from the
buzz surrounding this upcoming SNL alumni team up as
two of the funniest actors to come off that show finally
make a movie together. Sure it’s a sports film, but now
their in prison and are forced to play against the prison
guards. Add in the zany humor of Sandler, the racial
undertones of Rock, and a cast of funny people prepared to
make us laugh and I’ll take a ticket please…or not. |
 |
|
Suck: Another remake? I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again,
Hollywood is getting so obscure in these remakes that I’m
not even sure they are remakes until I do my research about
the release. I didn’t know there was another film of the
same name and premise starring Burt Reynolds, did any of you
under 25 know? This time around the film looks to have a
much stronger cast, especially in the informed pairing of
Adam Sandler and Chris Rock, but the stench of Little
Nicky and Down to Earth have yet to
subside over their respective careers and usually when we
get a huge comedic team-up the results have been lukewarm.
The story isn’t going to help the film out too much, another
of the “team of losers overcomes adversity and wins”
variety, only this time the team is in prison, and they have
Nelly! Watch me wet myself. Finally, the trailer isn’t
helping the cause by blowing, seemingly, the best sequence
of the film (Sandler’s drunken car chase), but we’ll see how
things go in a few weeks time. |
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| Projected
Rating: B- |
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| Madagascar |
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|
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Release Date:
May 27, 2005 |
| Studio:
DreamWorks Animation (DreamWorks SKG) |
| Directors:
Eric Darnell, Tom McGrath, Conrad Vernon |
| Producers:
Mireille Soria, Karey Kirkpatrick |
| Starring:
Ben Stiller, Chris Rock, David Schwimmer, Andy Richter,
Cedric the Entertainer, Sacha Baron Cohen, Chris Knights,
Tom McGrath |
 |
|
Cool: From the studio that brought us Shrek and
Shrek 2,
now we get Madagascar the story of four zoo
animals transplanted to the jungle only to be the fish out
of water. Regardless of how cliché (May’s word of the month)
the story will be when it comes together the added dosage of
pop culture references, gross-out humor, and penguins will
keep us entertained for the film’s running time. How long it
will last in our minds remains to be seen, but at least
we’ll be laughing this month, and today in general with both
The Longest Yard and this film popping up on
the silver screen. |
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Suck: The awe has finally worn off of computer generated films
and now the studios are faced with making films with quality
stories and keeping up the high production values we’ve seen
from Pixar and PDI since their inception. Madagascar,
coming to us from DreamWorks PDI and the newly public
DreamWorks Animation has some big, green shoes to fill when
compared to the likes of its predecessor. Shrek,
and the writing team behind it, really had the knack for
finding pop culture references and nailing them into your
head in a very funny, and sometimes subtle way. So far
Madagascar looks to have the same blood running through its
veins, and I’d really like to think the film will be one of
the biggest of the year after the successful Robots
in March. For those who never tire of Chris Rock (me being
one of them) this is his second film opening today. I can’t
really find anything to bitch about here, it looks like
The Incredibles and Shrek where the
gross-out jokes coupled with more sophisticated “adult”
humor will keep young and old entertained. |
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| Projected
Rating: B+ |
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Look for future months
of Summer of Cinema to debut the last week in the preceding
month. June 2005's films will be online May 27th, so check back
soon for more coverage at Entertainmentopia.
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Feature |
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Quotable |
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"I’d take the craptacular Ewoks
over the wooden acting of Hayden Christenson and his
total lack of chemistry with Natalie Portman." |
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